Happy April Fools’ Day!

Here’s a translation of the first-press DLC event from the recently released Kuroko no Basuke 3DS game, Kuroko no Basuke: Mirai he no Kizuna. This in-game event may not be an April Fools’ prank, but it’s suitably crazy.

「黒子のバスケ 未来へのキズナ」3DS ゲーム
Kuroko no Basuke: Mirai he no Kizuna 3DS Game
DLC Events

帝光中時代のキセキの一日 / Teikouchuu Jidai no Kiseki no Ichinichi / A Miraculous Day at Teikou Middle

Translation:

[at an okonomiyaki restaurant]

Kagami: All that studying made me work up an appetite! I’m ready to chow down!

Kuroko: Kagami-kun, you could do nothing and still get hungry.

Kagami: Shut up! Not that I can deny it. But enough about that—let’s hurry up and find a seat!

Kise: Oh? It’s Kurokocchi and Kagamicchi!

Kuroko: Kise-kun?

Kise: Fancy meeting you here.

Aomine: Huh? Now the gang really is all here.

Kise: I was joking when I said that, but it actually happened!

Midorima: Although there’s one person who doesn’t belong.

Murasakibara: Hey there.

Akashi: We were just discussing how if Tetsuya were here, all six of us would be together.

Kuroko: Is there a reason you’re together?

Akashi: No, it was just a coincidence. Shintarou, Atsushi, and I were together to begin with, and we came here to get something to eat.

Kise: Aominecchi and I happened to run into each other at the train station. Then we ended up walking around together…until Aominecchi started complaining about being hungry, so we came here and bumped into Akashicchi and the others.

Kuroko: And then the two of us happened to come along.

Kise: Since we’re all here, let’s eat together!

Kuroko: Okay.

Kagami: Alright, let’s go ahead and order some food.

Kise: I can’t wait to see Kagamicchi’s humongous appetite in action again!

Kagami: Hey, it’s not a circus act!

– –

Kagami: Sweet! The food’s here! What should I eat first…?

Midorima: Good grief… The table is buried under all the food you ordered.

Kagami: Just be patient, will you? I’ll finish it in no time. And then I’ll order seconds.

Midorima: You’re planning to eat more than this?!

Kise: Wow. His appetite is as huge as ever.

Kuroko: I think it might even have increased somewhat.

Kise: Maybe he’s having a growth spurt…?

Akashi: Eating together like this reminds me of when we were in middle school.

Murasakibara: We’d eat together at lunch, and during the training camps.

Kagami: Oh yeah…? Right, you guys were all on the same team back in middle school. What were your training camps like?

Kise: Since our school was a basketball powerhouse, the training camp practice regimen was no joke. We were used to the first string’s tough practices, but even we were ready to keel over by the end of the day.

Aomine: Yeah, there were tons of guys who quit the team after the training camps.

Midorima: We had plenty of difficult practices, but they helped us develop our abilities. What’s more, the confidence we gained by surviving the training camp was a psychological boost, as well.

Kise: Yep. It felt like there was no way we could lose after doing that much practice!

Murasakibara: Practice was tough, but the meals were a lot of fun.

Kise: Because mealtime was the only chance we got to relax during the training camp… Wait, actually, I don’t remember it being all that relaxing…

Murasakibara: Huh? Really?

Kise: I seem to remember our meals at the training camp getting really crazy…

– –

Midorima: During the summer training camp in our second year…the dining hall was particularly rowdy.

Kise: Everybody was so hungry after practice that they’d try to steal other people’s food.

Midorima: If you left your seat while the food was on the table, someone else would invariably eat your share.

Kise: Yeah, forget about relaxing. If anything, it was as intense as an actual basketball game.

Akashi: Atsushi made use of his long arms to snatch food from across the table.

Murasakibara: You knew, Akachin?

Kise: Hey, isn’t that a little unfair? …hm? Wait a second. There was one time when the meat I’d been saving for last just up and disappeared… Does that mean the culprit was…?!

Murasakibara: That’s ancient history, right?

Kise: So it was you, Murasakibaracchi?! That’s so mean! I can’t believe you stole my food…!

Akashi: Compared to that, Tetsuya’s chopsticks always moved at a snail’s pace.

Kagami: I guess some things never change.

Kuroko: I was told to eat several helpings of food, just like at Seirin’s training camp. For me, that may have been more taxing than any practice.

Kagami: You should enjoy your food, at least.

Kuroko: Akashi-kun preferred the tofu over the meat.

Akashi: Yes. I happen to like tofu. Particularly boiled tofu, since there are no added flavors to mask the taste and aroma of the soybeans.

Murasakibara: I always wondered why our table was the only one without any tofu. So you ate all of it, Akachin?

Akashi: Everyone else was distracted by the meat, so I simply helped myself. Come to think of it, Daiki was always late to the dining hall that summer. You used to keep practicing until you were the last one in the gym.

Aomine: Yeah. I guess I did.

Kagami: It’s easier for me to picture him making a beeline for the dining hall.

Kise: And I can totally see him sneaking food before everybody else got there.

Kagami: Actually, I take it back. I think he’d be more likely to skip the basketball altogether and spend the whole day napping in the dining hall.

Aomine: Who said you two could run your mouths off? Besides, I just remembered. You guys used to eat all my food when I was late.

Midorima: If you looked away for even a split second, someone would steal your food… Of course there wouldn’t be any left if you were late.

Aomine: Hey, that’s no excuse! I had no choice but to go ask the staff if they had any extra…  They always had nattou left over from breakfast, so they’d give me that.

Midorima: …and for some reason, you felt compelled to shovel some of that nattou onto my plate.

Aomine: They gave me three bowls of the stuff, so why not share? You shouldn’t be so picky about your food.

Midorima: Shut up! It baffles me to think people actually enjoy that repulsive stuff!

– –

Kise: Things got pretty intense at mealtime, but thinking back on it now, I guess we had a lot of fun.

Kuroko: Yes, there was never a dull moment.

Murasakibara: Was there anything else we did together besides the training camps?

Midorima: We used to walk part of the way home together all the time.

Murasakibara: Oh, and we’d stop by the convenience store. And sometimes we’d bring snacks back for Akachin, if he was stuck at school.

Akashi: The popsicles? Yes, I remember.

Midorima: It was always a challenge to keep Murasakibara from eating them before we could deliver them to you.

Kise: That really takes me back! I feel like there was something else, too… Hmmm… I think we all did something together during the school festival…

Midorima: Geh…! There’s no reason to dredge up those horrible memories!

Kise: Huh?

Akashi: Yes, I remember that day…

Aomine: Thanks to you, Kise, I just remembered something awful…

Murasakibara: Hey, what are you talking about?

Kuroko: The Teikou Middle Best Couple Contest.

Murasakibara: Oh, that? That’s right. Now I remember.

Kise: Yeah, that’s the one! The Best Couple Contest! And how Aominecchi was…pffft!

Aomine: Hey, Kise, keep it to yourself!

Kise: But, I mean…Aominecchi, you were…hahaha!

Aomine: Don’t make me punch you!

Kagami: What was it? That best-whatever contest.

Kuroko: It was an event held to decide Teikou Middle’s best couple. It was supposed to be one of the highlights of the cultural festival, but…

Midorima: They invited people to participate, but only one couple volunteered.

Kise: That’s right. And then they realized there’d be no point in holding the contest with just one couple. We happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got dragged into it!

Midorima: The sponsors turned it into a truly horrible event for the sake of a few cheap laughs…

Kagami: I can understand how you guys would hate being forced to participate, but…all you had to do was pair up and go out on stage, right? Is that really worth getting so worked up about?

Midorima: You only say that because you don’t know the whole story.

Kuroko: The problem was who our partners were.

Kagami: You mean who played the other half of the couple?

Kuroko: Incidentally, my partner was Akashi-kun.

Kagami: What’s so “horrible” about having Akashi as your partner…wait, Akashi?!

Kuroko: Akashi-kun, Aomine-kun, and Midorima-kun played the female half of the couples.

Murasakibara: They all wore girls’ clothes.

Kagami: Wha—?! They made you crossdress?! …now I understand why you said it was horrible…

– –

Kise: Aominecchi in a dress…pffft! I couldn’t stop laughing… I could barely breathe!

Aomine: Weren’t you supposed to be the one wearing the dress? But then you and Satsuki got carried away…

Kise: Maaan, that was priceless! You looked pretty sexy…pffft!

Aomine: I’m gonna deck you!

Akashi: But I understand how Ryouta feels. I was on the verge of bursting out laughing myself, so I tried to refrain from looking at Daiki and Shintarou.

Kise: Akashicchi bursting out laughing? That would’ve been another priceless memory.

Kuroko: Your costume really suited you, Kise-kun.

Kise: There wasn’t really anything embarrassing about wearing that in public. All of our costumes were borrowed from the drama club, weren’t they?

Kuroko: Yes, and their club members were also the ones who helped us get into costume.

Kise: I remember being surprised by how stylish the clothes were. I look good in anything, though!

Kuroko: Midorima-kun’s costume was another disaster.

Kise: Hey, don’t ignore me!

Midorima: “Disaster” doesn’t do it justice. I will never be humiliated like that again.

Murasakibara: But didn’t you tell them you didn’t need any help getting into costume?

Midorima: They asked me to change into a kimono, and I simply said I didn’t mind… I never expected it to be a women’s kimono.

Murasakibara: You didn’t even realize until you looked in the mirror.

Midorima: I did wonder why it took so long to tie the obi…

Murasakibara: You looked pretty good in it, though.

Midorima: I most certainly did not!

Kagami: Midorima crossdressing…hahaha! I’m cracking up just imagining it!

Midorima: Then don’t imagine it!

Kuroko: Speaking of which, about the kimono you were wearing, Murasakibara-kun—the fabric around your stomach was oddly lumpy.

Murasakibara: Yeah. That’s because I stuffed a bunch of Maiubou in the front. It held a lot more than an ordinary pocket, so it was kind of handy.

Kuroko: Like a hamster stuffing its cheeks with food.

Aomine: Akashi, you were saying something about trying not to laugh when you looked at us, but I got a good laugh outta your costume, too.

Akashi: It’s true that I would never wear something like that under ordinary circumstances.

Kise: You were dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood. And you were surprisingly popular with the crowd!

Aomine: It was surreal seeing him next to Tetsu the wolf.

Kagami: A wolf?

Kuroko: I wore a wolf costume for the contest. I think the person in charge of the costumes chose a wolf to match Little Red Riding Hood, but Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf aren’t even a couple.

Midorima: The entire event turned into a costume contest.

– –

Kagami: So what happened with the contest?

Kuroko: The one couple that actually volunteered for the contest won. We only participated to help generate buzz for the event, and it had been decided at the beginning that the real couple would win.

Kagami: That couple would’ve been in for a real shock if you guys had won instead.

Kise: We ended up being the main attraction during the event, though, no two ways about it. Thinking back on it now, I feel a little guilty about that. But during the contest, I was too busy laughing to even care!

Murasakibara: I guess we did a lot of stuff besides play basketball.

Midorima: Not that any of it is worth repeating.

Murasakibara: Ah! The okonomiyaki’s burning.

Midorima: We got too caught up in what we were discussing.

Kagami: I have to say, that’s not at all what I expected to hear about you guys back in middle school. It sounds like you were just normal middle schoolers…

Akashi: Despite being called the “Generation of Miracles”, we were like any other students most of the time. But people change… I believe all of us have changed a great deal since then.

Aomine: Murasakibara, your okonomiyaki sure looks good. Lemme have a bite when it’s done.

Murasakibara: Huh? Why should I? Eat your own.

Midorima: Murasakibara, don’t eat snacks while you’re grilling your okonomiyaki.

Murasakibara: Why not? I’ve got nothing else to do while I wait.

Midorima: Be that as it may, when you’re in a restaurant, you shouldn’t eat food you brought from elsewhere.

Aomine: What about you? You’re the one who put a piggy bank on top of the table!

Midorima: This is my lucky item!

Aomine: Like I care! It’s in the way, so put it somewhere else!

Kise: Waah?! Some of my okonomiyaki is missing?! Hey, Murasakibaracchi! You took some without asking, didn’t you?!

Murasakibara: Huh? How did you know?

Kise: Because I just found out about what you did at the training camp!

Murasakibara: But I wasn’t the only one who ate some.

Aomine: Man, that’s some good okonomiyaki, Kise…

Kise: Why do the two of you keep stealing other people’s food?!

Kuroko: …have we really changed all that much?

Akashi: …it seems there are some things that haven’t changed.

– –

Kagami: Man, I’m stuffed!

Midorima: Watching you devour that much food was enough to turn my stomach.

Kagami: I thought that was a pretty normal amount.

Midorima: That was anything but “normal”!

Kise: Ahh, that was fun! We got really fired up talking about the good old days!

Aomine: Next time, I’m gonna share an embarrassing story about you.

Kise: What’s that supposed to mean?!

Murasakibara: What about that time you lost one of the basketball mini games and had to play a penalty game? We drew some weird stuff on your face and made you go talk to the girls…

Kise: Forget about that already!

Midorima: How long are we going to stand around talking? It’s time to leave.

Kuroko: It’s been a while since we last ate together. This was fun.

Akashi: Yes, it was. We got to reminisce about some old memories.

Kuroko: I’m sure the next time we all get together will be for a basketball game.

Akashi: Then we’ll be able to see how much everyone has grown. I’m looking forward to it, Tetsuya.

Kuroko: Of course.

Kagami: We get to settle things once and for all the next time we’re together… Alright! I’m gonna beat all of ‘em!

Kise: Hey, guys! We decided to go do some karaoke. Wanna come with us?

Midorima: You just won’t take “no” for an answer, will you…?

Kise: It’s time for a karaoke showdown!

Kuroko: It didn’t take long at all for everyone to get together again.

Kagami: ………

Kuroko: You said you were going to beat them all, didn’t you? Please do your best in the karaoke showdown.

Kagami: Like hell I will!

– – –